A Sinner Interrupted and Amazed by the Living God - My Personal Testimony
By Sean Morris
Info:
For a full disclosure of how I, an average unsuspecting Sinner, was interrupted and amazed by the Living God through salvation in Christ, please see the audio link below. If you prefer to read on, I hereby present to you this brief introduction to my personal situation and experience.
For as long as I can remember I called myself a Christian. I traveled all around the world during my adolescence because my Dad worked in the oil industry. During this time of travel I went to more countries, states, and cities that many could dream to see, and in the process I met, saw, and did comprehend all kinds of backgrounds, religions, and races. During this span of time I saw and met more people than many would in a life time, and yet, I was never challenged on my belief in what I understood as Christianity. Up to my mid-teens, I spent approximately half my years in overseas countries and the other half in the USA. My family was nominal in their faith (our faith) according to what is known in America, and around the world for that matter. We had little, to no, devotions of reading the Bible or prayer, but we had prayers at the dinner table, a hope to increase in attendance at Sunday assemblies, and we were comforted because we were faithful to the tithe. Aside from these certain rituals which we performed, there was no heart for God, His righteousness, or even a concept of what obedience is. The right things we did (so we thought) were not done with any sort of consciousness that it was for God, to God, and by God, nor was there any reference to God at all. The wrong things we did were not disdained because of their relationship to God, nor were we taught any concept like this at all; it was just wrong because it was wrong. We were, in every truthful respect, godless “Christians” and practical atheists.
Growing up, I never even heard or understood the word repentance until I was a senior in high school, and it was just a few months before I was saved. According to my memory, I never heard the phrase “you must be born again” (John 3:3). I never heard any preaching on the subjects of hell or damnation, nor did I fear God. God says, “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom” (Prov. 9:10). I never heard of the sinful condition of men because of the fall (though I did hear of the words “sin” and “fall of man”); consequentially I thought I was a good person. God says, “there is none that doeth good, no, not one” (Rom. 3:12). My great grandfather, great uncle, and immediate uncle were preachers, and my grandfather was a preacher’s kid while both my grandparents were Sunday School teachers. I was surrounded by professing Christians everywhere! I went to a “Christian” school for three years, my sophomore, junior, and senior years in High School, and yet still, I never heard the essential parts of the Gospel. Never was I confronted by a caring yet grave man or woman who warned me of God’s Eternal Judgment, how to escape hell, and the new birth wrought in salvation. It was as if I had never, to any significant degree at all, even thought of these things before in my life – nor did it seem that any others were thinking of them. As a result, I loved the world: the lust of my eyes, the lust of my flesh, and the pride of life (1 John 2:15-17).
My life, like all others that I was close to, was full of sexual immorality, pornography, partying, drunkenness, illegal activity, violence, sports fame, athletic perfection, bragging, self-exaltation, self-seeking, gossip, slander, betrayal, lying, deceit, cheating, stealing, hatred, cursing, the love of money and success, admirable goals for the future, and a plan to have a wife and kids with a big house and a pool, but first I planned to spend myself for sin during college then settle down when I am ready. I was popular amongst my peers, smooth in speech, and “a bully.” I was utterly overtaken in the vanity of my life, spent hours a day weight lifting, and I weighed approximately thirty more pounds than I do now because of the insatiable desire I had for muscular strength. I was desirous to gain the world’s riches, travel like my Dad, die at an old age, and I had a plan to get religious with my wife after I was old and wrinkly, riddled with fatigue, and essentially, had “nothing better to do” (I speak foolishly according to the flesh). Those who know me now are and would be shocked to hear all of the man I once was, but I write this to say and make plain – I WAS A SINNER in need of salvation! The environment I was around did not make me the man I was. My nature, the spiritually lost condition of my soul, made me the man that I was. I was carnal, and “to be carnally minded is death” (Rom. 8:6), at “enmity against God” (Rom. 8:7). Over and above it all, the most tragic thing about this whole mess of iniquity is, I was surrounded by professing Christians everywhere, the entire time, even attending a Christian school for three years, a religious class every day, chapel on Fridays, and often times Church on Sundays – and yet – no one knew, told me, taught me, preached, or lived as though they had any awareness that I, my peers, my family, and most in the world are on the broad way that leads to destruction! “Enter ye in at the strait gate: for wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many there be which go in thereat: Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it” (Matt. 7:13-14).
With all of this in mind, lo, by the sovereign grace of a merciful God and His mighty outstretched arm toward a sinner like me, He reached out and woke me up to my lost estate! In a moment, for the first time in my life, I saw where I stood before a Holy, merciful, just, and loving God. This awakening happened at the beginning of my senior year in high school (2004) during a mandatory religion class. My teacher, who was known to be a drunkard by the entire school, was teaching us “The Lord’s Prayer,” when, all of a sudden, I was overwhelmed with anxiety in waiting for the time to pass for the class to end. To occupy my mind, I frantically picked up the Bible I found on the ground. I opened it up and began to read. Up to this day I had rarely ever read the Bible, or opened one, and I doubt I ever read more than a chapter in one sitting, nor do I believe I have ever heard more than a chapter read to me at one time, in one sitting. Nevertheless, I picked up the Bible and read it with a sense of fear, awe, and mystery gripping my soul. Right where my eyes first fell I read, and after 5 lines of reading I was confronted with the fearful reality that I was lost, condemned, and deserving of hell. These 5 lines can be found in Romans 1:28-33 and they described me! The most awful and shocking thing to me at this time was, of all the people that I have known, in all the places I have been, of all the “Christians” I had ever known, I thought, how is it that no one ever told me that I was lost? Surely, I thought, if I have ever known a true Christian, he or she would have told me that I was lost and that I needed to be saved. Surely such a person would have had the decency and consideration to do such a little thing for a lost soul. Therefore, I was convinced at that very moment that I never knew one real Christian ever in my life. Everyone was just like me… and was lost! Oh I was shocked! It was as if time stopped and I was able to reflect upon eternity, my entire life, and everyone I had ever known, and I was utterly afraid that we are all heading for hell. I was horrified. I felt betrayed by “Christianity,” but felt as though I deserved to be betrayed because of my sin. I felt evil and sinful, and I was utterly confounded on what to do now – I became an awakened sinner who saw his need for salvation! It is the grace of God that awakens a sinner to his need. A man must be lost before he can be saved. A man cannot be born a Christian; Jesus says you must be born again (John 3:3). A man must see the depravity of himself in the first birth, and then the freedom of Christ in the second.
Approximately eight months after this point I was saved. It was about three weeks before I went to university studies. God set me free from the power, penalty, and love of sin! I was born again (John 3:3)! I was saved by grace through faith, unto holiness, by a regenerating and indwelling Spirit! I was a new man! My friends gaped upon me with their eyes in utter astonishment, praise God! The miraculous change that happened in my life was a shock to my high school. I was so different by the time I went to college that those who knew me in college could not believe who I said I was in high school, and those in high school who heard the report of who I had become after my conversion said they would not believe it unless they saw it. I had, by the grace of God, a revelation of the living Savior, and I have never been the same! No man can see Him and yet not love Him. No man can see Him and go on unsaved!
“Now the Lord is that Spirit: and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty. But we all, with open face beholding as in a glass the glory of the Lord, are changed into the same image from glory to glory, even as by the Spirit of the Lord” (2 Cor. 3:17-18).
The road of humiliation which I walked was hard and full of counterfeit snares which replace and hinder salvation. I could not walk it unless I was pressed by the heavy hand of God. Many men find gratitude at the foot of the cross but Christ commands all men to get on the cross! To die is to live, and any true Christian confession declares to the world - "I am crucified with Christ" (Gal. 2:20). Praise God! No dear reader, religion will not do it. Reading the Bible every day will not do it! So many people do get convicted of their sins at some point in their life, but they put their awakening conscience to sleep again by religious rituals. Church attendance may abound and "Christian morality" may be sharpened, but if a man is not utterly crucified and then resurrected into the Person and power of the Living Spirit of Jesus Christ, he will continue to be himself! His prayers will remain dead, God will remain afar off, sin will seem to lose its stinging trouble on the conscience but it remains an unforgiven threat to meet with at eternity, and sadly, the Bible is still like another language that can't seem to be understood. Only spiritual men understand a spiritual Book. May God have mercy and save souls.
All praise and glory to the Wonderful Christ, Jesus my Savior, my risen Lord and God,
Sean Morris
For a full disclosure of how I, an average unsuspecting Sinner, was interrupted and amazed by the Living God through salvation in Christ, please see the audio link below. If you prefer to read on, I hereby present to you this brief introduction to my personal situation and experience.
For as long as I can remember I called myself a Christian. I traveled all around the world during my adolescence because my Dad worked in the oil industry. During this time of travel I went to more countries, states, and cities that many could dream to see, and in the process I met, saw, and did comprehend all kinds of backgrounds, religions, and races. During this span of time I saw and met more people than many would in a life time, and yet, I was never challenged on my belief in what I understood as Christianity. Up to my mid-teens, I spent approximately half my years in overseas countries and the other half in the USA. My family was nominal in their faith (our faith) according to what is known in America, and around the world for that matter. We had little, to no, devotions of reading the Bible or prayer, but we had prayers at the dinner table, a hope to increase in attendance at Sunday assemblies, and we were comforted because we were faithful to the tithe. Aside from these certain rituals which we performed, there was no heart for God, His righteousness, or even a concept of what obedience is. The right things we did (so we thought) were not done with any sort of consciousness that it was for God, to God, and by God, nor was there any reference to God at all. The wrong things we did were not disdained because of their relationship to God, nor were we taught any concept like this at all; it was just wrong because it was wrong. We were, in every truthful respect, godless “Christians” and practical atheists.
Growing up, I never even heard or understood the word repentance until I was a senior in high school, and it was just a few months before I was saved. According to my memory, I never heard the phrase “you must be born again” (John 3:3). I never heard any preaching on the subjects of hell or damnation, nor did I fear God. God says, “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom” (Prov. 9:10). I never heard of the sinful condition of men because of the fall (though I did hear of the words “sin” and “fall of man”); consequentially I thought I was a good person. God says, “there is none that doeth good, no, not one” (Rom. 3:12). My great grandfather, great uncle, and immediate uncle were preachers, and my grandfather was a preacher’s kid while both my grandparents were Sunday School teachers. I was surrounded by professing Christians everywhere! I went to a “Christian” school for three years, my sophomore, junior, and senior years in High School, and yet still, I never heard the essential parts of the Gospel. Never was I confronted by a caring yet grave man or woman who warned me of God’s Eternal Judgment, how to escape hell, and the new birth wrought in salvation. It was as if I had never, to any significant degree at all, even thought of these things before in my life – nor did it seem that any others were thinking of them. As a result, I loved the world: the lust of my eyes, the lust of my flesh, and the pride of life (1 John 2:15-17).
My life, like all others that I was close to, was full of sexual immorality, pornography, partying, drunkenness, illegal activity, violence, sports fame, athletic perfection, bragging, self-exaltation, self-seeking, gossip, slander, betrayal, lying, deceit, cheating, stealing, hatred, cursing, the love of money and success, admirable goals for the future, and a plan to have a wife and kids with a big house and a pool, but first I planned to spend myself for sin during college then settle down when I am ready. I was popular amongst my peers, smooth in speech, and “a bully.” I was utterly overtaken in the vanity of my life, spent hours a day weight lifting, and I weighed approximately thirty more pounds than I do now because of the insatiable desire I had for muscular strength. I was desirous to gain the world’s riches, travel like my Dad, die at an old age, and I had a plan to get religious with my wife after I was old and wrinkly, riddled with fatigue, and essentially, had “nothing better to do” (I speak foolishly according to the flesh). Those who know me now are and would be shocked to hear all of the man I once was, but I write this to say and make plain – I WAS A SINNER in need of salvation! The environment I was around did not make me the man I was. My nature, the spiritually lost condition of my soul, made me the man that I was. I was carnal, and “to be carnally minded is death” (Rom. 8:6), at “enmity against God” (Rom. 8:7). Over and above it all, the most tragic thing about this whole mess of iniquity is, I was surrounded by professing Christians everywhere, the entire time, even attending a Christian school for three years, a religious class every day, chapel on Fridays, and often times Church on Sundays – and yet – no one knew, told me, taught me, preached, or lived as though they had any awareness that I, my peers, my family, and most in the world are on the broad way that leads to destruction! “Enter ye in at the strait gate: for wide is the gate, and broad is the way, that leadeth to destruction, and many there be which go in thereat: Because strait is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it” (Matt. 7:13-14).
With all of this in mind, lo, by the sovereign grace of a merciful God and His mighty outstretched arm toward a sinner like me, He reached out and woke me up to my lost estate! In a moment, for the first time in my life, I saw where I stood before a Holy, merciful, just, and loving God. This awakening happened at the beginning of my senior year in high school (2004) during a mandatory religion class. My teacher, who was known to be a drunkard by the entire school, was teaching us “The Lord’s Prayer,” when, all of a sudden, I was overwhelmed with anxiety in waiting for the time to pass for the class to end. To occupy my mind, I frantically picked up the Bible I found on the ground. I opened it up and began to read. Up to this day I had rarely ever read the Bible, or opened one, and I doubt I ever read more than a chapter in one sitting, nor do I believe I have ever heard more than a chapter read to me at one time, in one sitting. Nevertheless, I picked up the Bible and read it with a sense of fear, awe, and mystery gripping my soul. Right where my eyes first fell I read, and after 5 lines of reading I was confronted with the fearful reality that I was lost, condemned, and deserving of hell. These 5 lines can be found in Romans 1:28-33 and they described me! The most awful and shocking thing to me at this time was, of all the people that I have known, in all the places I have been, of all the “Christians” I had ever known, I thought, how is it that no one ever told me that I was lost? Surely, I thought, if I have ever known a true Christian, he or she would have told me that I was lost and that I needed to be saved. Surely such a person would have had the decency and consideration to do such a little thing for a lost soul. Therefore, I was convinced at that very moment that I never knew one real Christian ever in my life. Everyone was just like me… and was lost! Oh I was shocked! It was as if time stopped and I was able to reflect upon eternity, my entire life, and everyone I had ever known, and I was utterly afraid that we are all heading for hell. I was horrified. I felt betrayed by “Christianity,” but felt as though I deserved to be betrayed because of my sin. I felt evil and sinful, and I was utterly confounded on what to do now – I became an awakened sinner who saw his need for salvation! It is the grace of God that awakens a sinner to his need. A man must be lost before he can be saved. A man cannot be born a Christian; Jesus says you must be born again (John 3:3). A man must see the depravity of himself in the first birth, and then the freedom of Christ in the second.
Approximately eight months after this point I was saved. It was about three weeks before I went to university studies. God set me free from the power, penalty, and love of sin! I was born again (John 3:3)! I was saved by grace through faith, unto holiness, by a regenerating and indwelling Spirit! I was a new man! My friends gaped upon me with their eyes in utter astonishment, praise God! The miraculous change that happened in my life was a shock to my high school. I was so different by the time I went to college that those who knew me in college could not believe who I said I was in high school, and those in high school who heard the report of who I had become after my conversion said they would not believe it unless they saw it. I had, by the grace of God, a revelation of the living Savior, and I have never been the same! No man can see Him and yet not love Him. No man can see Him and go on unsaved!
“Now the Lord is that Spirit: and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty. But we all, with open face beholding as in a glass the glory of the Lord, are changed into the same image from glory to glory, even as by the Spirit of the Lord” (2 Cor. 3:17-18).
The road of humiliation which I walked was hard and full of counterfeit snares which replace and hinder salvation. I could not walk it unless I was pressed by the heavy hand of God. Many men find gratitude at the foot of the cross but Christ commands all men to get on the cross! To die is to live, and any true Christian confession declares to the world - "I am crucified with Christ" (Gal. 2:20). Praise God! No dear reader, religion will not do it. Reading the Bible every day will not do it! So many people do get convicted of their sins at some point in their life, but they put their awakening conscience to sleep again by religious rituals. Church attendance may abound and "Christian morality" may be sharpened, but if a man is not utterly crucified and then resurrected into the Person and power of the Living Spirit of Jesus Christ, he will continue to be himself! His prayers will remain dead, God will remain afar off, sin will seem to lose its stinging trouble on the conscience but it remains an unforgiven threat to meet with at eternity, and sadly, the Bible is still like another language that can't seem to be understood. Only spiritual men understand a spiritual Book. May God have mercy and save souls.
All praise and glory to the Wonderful Christ, Jesus my Savior, my risen Lord and God,
Sean Morris
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